The Mysterious Paper Bag...

 The Mysterious Paper Bag

‘’Ahhhhh rise and shine’’ said Elise’s mum. . As Elise stumbled out of bed as cold as ice, on a rainy cold winter morning. She got up and stumbled herself to the kitchen, she poured herself a bowl of cereal and gulped it down in a rush. Elise then made her way up the stairs to her wardrobe and got her clothes out for the day. She chose to wear some warm layers of clothes for this cold dreadful rainy day. She then brushed her teeth and hair and made her way down to the front door. Elise threw her bag onto her back and stumbled out the door. She grabbed her umbrella and walked to her friend's house where they were meeting to walk to school. As she walked past she saw standing there her two best friends Alyssa and Mia she rushed over to them with excitement they then popped their umbrellas up and walked to school listening to the pitta patter raindrops hit the umbrella. When they finally arrived at school, They placed their bags down and walked into the mysteriously quiet classroom. When the three girls went and sat down they heard the bell ‘’ring ring ring ring’’... 

When the bell went and the class was awfully silent, a mysterious lady walked in that we have never seen before. She walked in with a long black cloak with a hoodie on. You couldn't see her face or anything. She just walked in and placed a brown paper bag on the table. 

When the bag got put down everyone was just staring right at it for a good 10 seconds straight, until it started to move. It wiggled and rustled and tossed and turned so Mia Elise and Myself decided to walk over and look. As we walked over we saw glowing coming out the top of the paper bag. Then it started to move even more…

After a while of discussion and thinking about what to do the three girls decided to open the bag and take out whatever was in it. Alyssa, Mia, and Elise walked to the sports shed. They put on some protective gear that they would think would protect them from what was in the paper bag. They put on a baseball helmet and a bit more protective sports gear. Then they walked back to the classroom trying not to make a single noise. They walked into the classroom and approached the paper bag Elise opened the top of the bag and pulled out the shiny metal thing. When she pulled it out they were so surprised to see that it was a genie lantern. A genie flew out of the lantern ‘’swoooshhhhhh’’ and it said to the three girls, ‘’ after years and years you found me I will now grant you, three girls, 3 wishes each’’. The girls got so excited and had a discussion about what they should wish for. And that was the end of what was in a mysterious-looking paper bag.

Mias feedback - Really cool, entertaining story. A lot of detail was added.. I would like it if the ending was longer though .

For Writing this week we had to write a narrative about what was in a paper bag, this is my story and I think I did a alright job. When I finished writing I had to get a buddy to give me feedback on my writing, Mia gave me some feedback.

Do you enjoy writing narrative story's?